2021

Resolutions are funny things.

We call them goals we set for ourselves for the year, but over the next month we’ll see all types of ads pop up across our screens, and they’re all self-help ads: lose weight quickly, join a gym, start a book club, get a new subscription to “expand your mind,” cheap deals on starting a new website or business, life-coaching, getting certifications, whatever.

Inevitably we will pick up some new hobby, but by the end of the month, they will be all but forgotten. In December, we’ll reminisce on the hobbies that we picked up, the diets we tried over the year, the gym that we’re still paying a membership for—despite not going—and we’ll promise to be better “next year.”

My goals have the last few years have been simple: be healthy, mentally and physically, get healthier, be a better husband and father, and grow closer to God. I think I’ve been generally successful, too.

I doubt myself every day. I see my weaknesses every day. I take notes of the ways that I can be better, more loving, more nurturing.

For years, I’ve struggled with my weight, and I’ve written about the way we look at our bodies before, but this month really brought that out in me.

I began the month weighing 205, which is the least I’ve weighed in literal years, but I’m ending the month weighing 210. The only thing that changed this month was that I stopped watching what I eat. I’ve indulged more, had seconds and thirds at dinner, picked off the boys’ plates.

All these things matter in how our bodies ebb and flow, but this post isn’t about that, beyond my desire to be transparent.

No, my point here is that my knee jerk reaction all month as I’ve seen the counter go up on my scale is that I will “start my diet tomorrow” or next week, or January 1st. My knee jerk has been to say that I need to do cardio and lift weights and “get active again.” My knee jerk was that I began feeling like a failure because I lost the momentum that I had gathered throughout the year.

Like with every other resolution this year and every other, I know that I’ll get two weeks into January, and get tired of restricting my diet.

I’ll get tired of forcing myself to wake up at 4 AM to read my bible for an hour and go run another hour before preparing a three-course breakfast for my family.

There are people who can do this—and have for years—but I’m not one of them (yet).

But I can promise myself, my family and God that I will take a step closer to God every single day. I can promise my family that I will be more loving, more apologetic, more empathetic and more kind every single day. I can promise myself that I will make good choices for my mental and physical health every single day.

There will be goals, sure. I’d like to read the Bible all the way through. I’d like to run a marathon. I’d love to be invited to a specific fitness competition. I want to figure out ACTUAL date nights for my wife and I that consist of more than a charcuterie board and wine at home after the kids have gone to bed. I want to look forward to taking my kids hiking on the weekends like my wife has proposed. I want to walk the folks I pastor through the entire bible next year.

But if I don’t meet one of these—or any of these!—I will not consider myself a failure.

We can all agree that there’s a lot we didn’t get to do in 2020. Travel plans that didn’t happen, family we didn’t get to see.

Some of us have even lost family this year.

2021 can be a repeat of 2020. We can call a “redo” on the last twelve months and try to relive our lives all over again.

We can try the same resolutions we have for years, the same diets and gym memberships and book lists that we always strive for.

We can try to make things happen that we ultimately may or may not achieve.

We can honor the year that has passed—the lives we have touched and lost—and grow from this.

They’re both hard choices. They require some semblance of sacrifice and revival.

But this year I’m choosing to look past the self-help ads. I’m choosing to look past the fad diets and the flash hobbies.

This year, I simply want to grow closer to God, make healthy decisions, be a better husband, be a better father.

I hope that you’ll join me in making a choice move forward this year. I hope you’ll join me in making the most out of 2021.

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